NO CONTROL...SO I CHOOSE.....

Every Christmas Eve in the past we've had treasure hunts w/the boys and with my lover/husband. We make sugar cookies and ride around looking a lights.  Wonderful traditions , I listen to Christmas songs all night..waking up (usually b/c of pain like normal) but with the anticipation of what the morning will bring. In the a.m. the fun begins with watching the boys open presents and stocking, seeing what my lover/husband has gotten me, enjoying him opening his presents, a great big brunch and then a movie with the family.

This year, it's all different with my daddy being in the hospital. We knew it'd be different not only b/c of daddy's surgery but b/c of having two more in our home (that's an entirely different story)  We planned on my lover/husband and me opening stocking stuff tonight--maybe even looking at a few lights, waking up together and heading to the hospital with mama to get ready for 'check out'.   We thought he'd be able to be by himself tonight and come home in the a.m. The knee replacement surgery was more intense than anticipated, his 'sick' kidney is still giving him problems and pain.  He hasn't been able to get up and walk as needed.  His mindset isn't all that great.  My lover/husband stayed with my daddy (isn't he awesome?).  

We'd also planned on Stephen going back home tomorrow after spending some time with Son #1 and his fiancee) and having the two youngest (22 and 19) open their stockings while S took pictures.  Then we planned on having our Christmas Eve/Christmas when I return on Tuesday.  NONE of our plans have been what we thought they'd be.  I (we) had/have NO control over any of it.  

I started out sad tonight b/c this is the first Christmas Eve since we married 32 years ago that my lover/husband and I have not been together.  Sad, b/c Christmas will be spent at the hospital, and blah, blah, blah ;-) But,in the end I remembered Sara Frankl's words:

Maybe instead of looking at mind over matter as a way for us to control our environment and create desired outcomes, instead of looking at it as a way to force the universe to conform to our wants, we could see it as an opportunity to use our minds to make good choices regardless of the“matter.”

My mind has chosen, regardless of circumstance, to find joy in the little things. I can’t control the physical, I can’t control the outcomes, I can’t control others’ actions… but I can control my response.

I guess that’s my version of mind over matter

Yes, letting Abba control me in circumstances.   I choose to be content and grateful that my lover/husband is a great SIL, that he has already written me to say he misses me terribly and loves me, that I have friends praying for my precious daddy, mama and me and my family, that I can celebrate Jesus' birth with just me and Abba, that I have a diet dew and left over Chick-Fil-A nuggets.  I choose JOY and I feel better already. 

Merry Christmas to you and yours.